Friday, December 15, 2006

chance

From my journal, a week after I wrote this:


Sitting here, people-watching, wondering what their stories are. There are a lot of women here, some alone, some in twos and threes. Where are their boyfriends, husbands, lovers? Where is mine, for that matter? All of us people, all of us here, together in this place and yet we don't connect. There are glances exchanged, smiles, nods, but no words. We keep to ourselves, to what's familiar, not allowing ourselves the possibility of what if? What if destiny was at the next table only we missed it because we were too afraid to say hello? Maybe it's unreasonable to think so but maybe not. I have to hold out hope that there is someone out there for me, that there is someone I'm meant to love and be loved by. And more than love. I want more than just someone to pass the time with, more than just someone to fill up the empty space. I won't settle for that, I won't settle for an ordinary kind of love. I want the stars and the moon, the sky and the earth, and everything in between.

When I wrote this, I didn't know that an empty chair would change everything. I didn't know that I would find myself happier than I've ever been. I didn't know that I would begin to believe in soul mates. I didn't know what real passion was or what it felt like to laugh nonstop. I didn't know that it was possible to care about someone more than yourself. I didn't know what I was capable of. I didn't know there was you.
I believe in fate, in karma, in destiny. I believe that everything happens for a reason. I believe, now, in taking chances. I believe in possibility, and in finding what you want in the place you least expect it. And most of all I believe, again, in love.

8 Comments:

Blogger Inconsequential said...

Cool :)

that was a good read.

12/16/2006 3:12 AM  
Blogger deezee said...

how wonderful. truly.

12/16/2006 12:07 PM  
Blogger briliantdonkey said...

On behalf of the OTHER 4 billion men out there let me say DAMN,,,while leading them in a collective groannnnnn of dissappointment.....

That said, that is great to hear. I am quite happy to hear this working out so well for you. I don't know how to say it without it sounding corny or cliche'ish(yes it IS a word I JUST TYPED IT! which means it is on the internetm,,,,,,which of course means it MUST be true!)Anywhoooo you sooooo deserve it! Also, thanks for giving hope to the rest of us out there still looking and wondering.Great to see you as always and congratulations!

BD

12/17/2006 1:27 AM  
Blogger Quinn said...

hey stranger, been missing you here. Great to see you posting again ... and as insightful and open as always.

12/17/2006 11:14 AM  
Blogger Michael Thomas said...

Woo Hoo for Rebecca! Fantastic News, Hon. Thanks for sharing it! It's great to hear from you, seems like a year. Merry Christmas to you and your love. Take Care!

Michael

12/18/2006 8:32 AM  
Blogger Scott said...

Maybe then you will start posting again? Not that I'm one to talk.

12/18/2006 9:44 AM  
Blogger jason evans said...

Never let it go.

12/19/2006 9:51 AM  
Blogger Rebecca said...

I fall in love too much I think. I'm thinking, hoping, that this will be the last and best time.

12/19/2006 5:04 PM  

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