Friday, June 23, 2006

An open letter to poetry

Look poetry, we've always gotten along fairly well, right? I mean, yes there have been times when we've both kept our distance but we always find our way back to one another in the end, don't we? We're like really good friends who only seem to get together in the middle of the night for whispered conversations in the dark.

I remember the first time I saw you. English class, tenth grade. I opened up my book and there you were, with your neat little stanzas and perfectly rhymed meter. I'll admit, I thought you were one stuck-up bitch. But then I got to know you a little and I saw you that there was more to you than sonnets and villanelles. I found out you could be wild when you wanted, that you could and would say just about anything. You were the bad girl I always wanted to be. I can tell you now, I had a little crush on you back then.

Then I went away to college. I started seeing you less and less, running into you at random moments and never stopping to chat. I was changing, you were changing. It was like we were speaking two different languages, I just couldn't understand you. I was too afraid to try.

Three years passed, and it never occurred to me to look you up. I had moved on with my life, I wasn't thinking about you anymore. I'd convinced myself I didn't need you. Then one day, I turned around and there you were. It was like you'd been there that whole time, waiting for me to notice you. We started spending every day together, taking clumsy steps toward one another. You were patient with me, though, you let me make mistakes. Slowly, I began to love you again.

Things were good for awhile. It seemed like this time, we were really going to make a go of it. But lately, you just haven't been there for me. You seem distant, moody. I never knew you could be so temperamental. The time we've been spending together, it's been good but it's not enough. I just need more from you. I don't think it's asking too much.

I've been thinking about you a lot lately, about how to fix what went wrong. I've made a decision and I'm sticking to it. I'm not going to play nice anymore. I'm not going to sit around, waiting for you to call. I've had enough of this little cat-and-mouse game we play. It's time to take control of the situation.

Poetry, I've decided to make you my bitch.

It doesn't have to be this way. Believe me, this is not how I wanted this to go. I just wanted us to be friends, to be happy. But you've left me with no choice. You've gotten a little out of control and somebody needs to rein you in. Poetry, this is for your own good. If I didn't care I'd just let you get away from me again. Try to remember that I'm doing this because I love you.

And if you feel a slap on your ass every now and again, that's just me, reminding you who's your daddy.

~ Rebecca


Blogger Flood said...

Hi! I read this.

(She prolly likes it when you give it to her rough, y'know)

6/23/2006 5:11 PM  
Blogger Writing Blind said...

Flood, you're always so succinct in your comments. That's a quality to be admired.

And yeah, she does.

6/23/2006 5:21 PM  
Blogger J Malcolm said...

"Poetry, I've decided to make you my bitch."
I wish I had that line for a bumper sticker. I'll sign that open letter anytime. Could you make it into a petition to poetry?

6/23/2006 9:16 PM  
Blogger Writing Blind said...

I was thinking I might get t-shirts printed up, what do you think?

I guess I could make it into a petition as long as it's not like we're begging poetry to take us back. Right now I'm more of a mind to tell her to lick my boots and quit crying, you know?

6/23/2006 9:21 PM  
Blogger J Malcolm said...

I really admire you courage, for saying this. After a statement like this poetry is liable to get a restaining order against you.
Still, It's time we all stood up and said this. We've been getting too many black eyes from poetry as of late. Time to start defending ourselves!

6/23/2006 9:28 PM  
Blogger Writing Blind said...

Shit, I didn't think of that. That's okay. If it comes to that, I'll just tell everyone about all those times poetry pushed me down the stairs and told me to say I fell. See how she likes that.

6/23/2006 9:33 PM  
Blogger TAP said...

Effin poetry -- give it an inch and it'll take a foot (wink, wink).

6/23/2006 9:57 PM  
Blogger Writing Blind said...

I know, what are you gonna do? First it's a foot and then five. There's no stopping her.

By the way, I really do know a good colonoscopy poem.

6/23/2006 10:03 PM  
Blogger TAP said...

Seriously? Post it to a comment on my blog (I wish there was a way to respond to individual comments like livejournal, or if there is, I wish I knew how to, haha) or email it to me at, because that sounds awesome (the poem, not the colonoscopy, haha).

6/23/2006 10:06 PM  
Blogger Writing Blind said...

Yeah, it's by John Updike. It's actually in the month's issue of Poetry. I'll see if I can find a link to it online or else I'll email it. It's kind of long.

And from what I've heard, colonoscopies do, in fact, suck.

6/23/2006 10:07 PM  
Blogger TAP said...

Don't worry about it then if it's long -- the college I attend subscribes to Poetry, so I'll just photocopy the poem next time I'm there now that I know the poet and issue.


(And they do -- but more so for the colonoscopy-preparation, i.e. the drinking of approximately a gallon (maybe more) of some horrid liquid that I've forgotten the name of (my dad was sick as a dog from the stuff)).

6/23/2006 10:18 PM  
Blogger Writing Blind said...

Check your email, I just sent it. I think. I'm not very good with email.

6/23/2006 10:19 PM  
Blogger TAP said...


6/23/2006 10:35 PM  
Blogger Writing Blind said...

If you can get your hands on it, the whole issue is actually pretty good. It's the humor issue so it's as funny as Poetry allows itself to be but it's still pretty good.

6/23/2006 10:37 PM  
Blogger Jaye Wells said...

I love this. I'd like to make chocolate my bitch. And the NY publishing establishment.

6/26/2006 12:29 AM  
Blogger Fence said...

You tell em.


6/26/2006 4:46 AM  
Blogger Writing Blind said...

The NY publishing establishment is next on my list. And then, the world.

6/26/2006 11:40 AM  

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