Thursday, July 13, 2006

Reader poll

Okay, since no one seems to be responding to today's Poetry Thursday post, I've decided to initiate a little reader poll. The only thing is, to comment, first you have to go over to Justin's blog and read his poem for the day because it is really good and it deserves to be read. If you don't go, trust me, I'll know. I have sources.

So, today's question is:

Why are boys so stupid?

For my purposes, a boy is any male between oh, let's say 18 and 45. And I'm referring here to the dating scene, male-female interaction, etc. Really, I just want to know why they have this terrible habit of saying one thing and doing another. It's quite annoying, really.

Seriously. Does anyone know the answer to this? Maybe it's because I'm getting older but it occurs to me that many boys (although none who read this blog) are in fact, quite stupid and I'm just wondering why that could be. I'd like to know what you think, right after you get back from reading Justin's poem.

**Just to clarify: there is no connection between Justin's poem and me wanting to know why boys are stupid. I just liked his poem and wanted everyone to read it. The stupid thing is unrelated to him in any way. Sorry if there was some confusion.


Blogger Lex Ham Rand said...

[Warning - overbroad generalization alert]

Boys are dogs. If you train them and teach them and are firm and fair with them then they may, when called upon, act appropriately.

But deep inside, most boys just want to run around and chew on things and satisfy their animal pleasures (eating, and other things...) and bark loudly and get dirty.

Reflection, empathy, the ability to see the other side of an argument, the desire to contextualize a given comment, an innate capacity to take extra caution when dealing with tricky, delicate and intimate issues, and an understanding of the interconnected and relationship-based world of human beings are not things that come naturally to boys.

Boy's brains are still not fully formed, even by 25 years of age, in many cases. The frontal lobes that provide reasoning power and self-restraint are not fully functional. The wild horses of emotions, hormones, and self-gratification gallop unchecked for years and years. Gay or straight, no matter the culture or religion, late adolescence for men is a time of poor decision-making, impulsive risk-taking, and boorish behavior.

That's why boys are stupid.

Boys are dogs. Hopefully any given boy will grow into a man and will also become a fully-functioning human being. It is possible with love and care and training and attention from people who care.

[Is some/most of this true for many women? Yes. Is some/most of this not true for some men? Yes. I think there is a kernel of truth in here, with all due apologies for gender stereotyping and painting with too broad a brush.]

7/13/2006 4:29 PM  
Blogger jason evans said...

Many are stupid. But the same is true of the other gender (for different reasons). What a woman needs is the skill to spot the good ones. To do that, she must be absolutely clear with herself regarding what she is looking for.

7/13/2006 7:08 PM  
Blogger Matt said...

I was going to explain why I'm stupid, hoping to shed some light on the general subject, but then I realized that by your own logic ("although none who read this blog") I couldn't possibly actually be stupid. So I guess I don't know.

Glad I could help.

7/13/2006 10:47 PM  
Blogger Writing Blind said...

"But deep inside, most boys just want to run around and chew on things and satisfy their animal pleasures (eating, and other things...) and bark loudly and get dirty." - Rand, I think I like your answer best.

Jason, girls can be stupid too but it's an entirely different kind of stupid I think.

Matt, I would never, ever think you were stupid, trust me. But thanks for the help.

7/14/2006 2:35 AM  
Blogger Justin Evans said...

because it is socially acceptable to act like little boys well into our 30's.

7/14/2006 6:59 AM  
Blogger Scott said...

It can't be said any better than Lex said it. He says it with such authority, but the idea that a man's brain is not fully developed does explain a lot. We are what we are for a reason. Men are impulsive, risk takers by nature. We are like puppies, that get too exited and have to be taught things like foreplay and patience. Just watch a guy eat if you want to know what he is like in bed.

Women have their issues too. Reality based issues. Not all women of course, but I've noticed a general lack of acceptance of the way things are, whereas a guy just recognizes and adjusts. Women grow up dreaming about the day they get married, and seemed to be programmed with a Cinderalla complex. Guys never stack up to the dream, and are almost always a disappointment through no fault of their own.

But we all want to be loved. The problem is bridging the massive gulf between the sexes. The only way is compromise.

7/14/2006 7:34 AM  
Blogger J. Newberry said...

We're stupid because we're too quick to listen to our glands and not quick to listen to our minds.

If by "stupid," you mean self-centered and selfish, I'd argue that, like it or not, most of us are that way. Some of us just have better ways of hiding it than others.

I do think that we can transcend our stupidity. It's a rare thing, but it does happen.

The world is filled with beautiful things, beautiful people. Unfortuately, all that beauty often gets lost in the tragedy of everyday life.

7/14/2006 8:16 AM  
Blogger Orange Blossom Goddess (aka Heather) said...

Admirable that men responded to this question (assured by your assurances of them not being stupid since they read your blog) and amazing that no women did...I will assume that they just don't have the answer to the question. I don't either in case you got excited there for a moment. I've just accepted it I suppose. They are just made differently and thus think differently...there's nothing to be done for it. I'm not so sure they are stupid...perhaps I am for adoring them.

7/14/2006 9:12 AM  
Anonymous fringes said...

I'm a little confused. Is your reader poll in response to Justin's poem or were you asking us to read it just for kicks THEN come back and answer the poll?

7/14/2006 9:26 AM  
Blogger Flood said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

7/14/2006 9:40 AM  
Blogger Writing Blind said...

Fringes, no. I just liked his poem and wanted everyone to read it. Although I do see the tie-in there. The stupid thing has nothing to do with him. The stupid thing has more to do with why do boys do such stupid things, not really why they're stupid. Does that make sense?

I actually talked about this to a guy last night and we agreed that for men, the trouble starts below the belt and for women, it's all upstairs. *Sigh* It's a good thing I like puppies.

7/14/2006 11:05 AM  
Anonymous fringes said...

Oh, okay.

I don't think boys are stupid. I have a boy. He's very smart.

Maybe sometimes we confuse inconsideration or insensitivity to certain issues with stupidity.

Stupid is a very not nice word.

You may ban me from commenting now if you like since I didn't really answer the poll of why.

7/14/2006 12:22 PM  
Blogger Writing Blind said...

Is your boy 22? This is who I'm referring to when I mean boys. And stupid. What word would you prefer I used?

You don't have to be banned if you went and read Justin's poem. If you don't want to comment anymore that's your choice I guess. I know that I really have nothing of merit to say here.

7/14/2006 12:28 PM  
Blogger Lex Ham Rand said...

Well, you have tapped into an interesting phenomenon, one with which I as a parent of a 14 year old boy am well acquainted.

The tables have turned on boys - in the past boys were privileged in school and in employment due to gender discrimination against women. Now that many of those matters of pernicious discrimination are being addressed on the front end, we are discovering that girls do better in school. I mean, way better in school. They sit still longer. They are less disruptive. They work together better. They often have superior language skills than boys the same age.

I'm not making this up. Click here, or here, or here.

7/14/2006 1:17 PM  
Blogger Flood said...

I like boys and girls and puppies.
Any of us behave the way we do because we can. If there is no consequence to stupidity, why change?

7/14/2006 2:25 PM  
Blogger Lex Ham Rand said...

Succinct and well said. Such concise statements make me embarrassed by my excessive prose.

7/14/2006 2:53 PM  
Blogger Orange Blossom Goddess (aka Heather) said...

Seems you are not the only one...

7/14/2006 3:37 PM  
Blogger Writing Blind said...

Rand, rhanks for those links, you are so right, believe me. I don't have any kids but I've been around young kids enough to know that theirs is a whole different generation than mine. The world they're living in is so different than the one I grew up in. And don't worry about your excessive prose. You can say whatever you want here.

Flood, I like puppies too. And you're right, about the consequences of stupidity.

Heather, that article is so on-point to what I'm talking about. Maybe it's not really men but the dating scene in general that's begun to deteriorate.

7/14/2006 6:07 PM  
Blogger Writing Blind said...

And I've rephrased the wording so people don't get the wrong idea about what I'm asking here.

7/14/2006 6:14 PM  

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